Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Extrinsic Motivation Killed My Creative Drive

I haven't made a serious piece of art in years.  Obviously part of that is that I live with my parents who fully discourage my art making and refuse to allow me to make work at home and have done whatever they can to get me to stop making art and "get a real job".

The thing is that, there's a series I've been dying to make for a super long time but I've haven't been able to find the motivation to make it.  Heck, I can't even get the motivation to go out and just shoot some photos.  I used to love just going out and taking photographs of anything I saw.  Now, if they aren't perfect examples of pre planned constructed reality with some deep neo post historical meaning, then I just don't do it because all I can think is "there's no way I could ever show that in a gallery".  My entire focus as an artist has become about making it in the New York Gallery scene, and that has completely killed my motivation to make art because I no longer want to make art that's just fun. I'm so focused on making art that's "serious" and "good", true examples of "high art".

The problem is if you aren't creating you lose that fire that gives you the steam to power through and finish some huge series like that.  Its nearly impossible to go from cold to performing at full performance.  I don't know why I never realized that before.  Tomorrow I'm going to go out and make something that I think is completely stupid just because its fun.

That's the key to art, keep making stuff that's stupid because its fun till you find something amazing in it.

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